＜At that time, my wife said “one word that should not be said”. When people get married, they have the illusion that the relationship is “eternal. The unexpected turn of events that led to their extramarital romance and marriage…. Part 1: “The decisive factor was the wife’s comment that she was going to die… Marriage from a ‘W-Edulterous Affair'” follows…
After the four of us discussed it
Tetsuro patiently continued to appeal to the three of them. Kaori said.
“We were calmly discussing it, but Mr. Tetsuro’s wife said to me, ‘So it’s Kaori who wants to get laid. That hurt me. Mr. Tetsuro quietly said to his wife, ‘In any case, let’s be respectful to others. She, too, said she was sorry. But once he let go, his words had great destructive power. I felt the discussion was ripe around that point.
The two couples chose to “divorce” because of this one word. As a result, Tetsuro and Kaori are now living together in the clear, and Kaori’s mother and son are with them. Kaori’s ex-husband lives alone in the neighborhood. Tetsuro’s ex-wife and children also moved into the neighborhood. They have been living like this for a year and a half.
When I come home, Tetsuro’s children are often eating at our house. When Tetsuro’s ex-wife is busy with work, he sometimes goes and watches the children’s homework. Our ex-husband has somehow become friends with Mr. Tetsuro’s children, and my ex-husband has a better relationship with our son than he did when he was married.”
Everyone was unleashed.
Kaori believes that because everyone involved has been freed from the spells of “marriage” and “family,” all relationships have become more open.
At first, my mother lamented, ‘This is such a shambles,’ but now she feels as if she has more grandchildren.” Children 3 I gradually told the three of them that there are plenty of adults around, and they can go wherever they want. In the end, Tetsuro and I have not registered our marriage. After all, we decided to live without being bound by the institution of marriage, relying only on our love.”
Some acquaintances have told her that she is forcing her children to make sacrifices. Kaori thinks that may be true. However, she always tells her children to be straightforward about what they don’t like. Her son seems to rather enjoy this kind of life. Kaori treats Tetsuro’s children as if they were her own.
My ex-wife is a very strict person, so his children seemed to feel a certain tightness. Tetsuro and I believe that the strength to live is important, so we don’t ask too many questions about whether or not they can or cannot pass the exams. I respect my ex-wife’s view, but when it comes to the children, we always try to talk about it together. I always try to talk about the children with the four of us.
The four of them meet several times a month for whatever reason. I wonder if there is any jealousy or resentment.
Tetsuro’s wife had always said she would never divorce him, but during one of their many talks together, he told her that he didn’t think there was any affection between them anymore. His wife, who was silent for a while, said, ‘You don’t have to have affection, but you do have responsibility.’ He said, ‘The children are my responsibility, but you and I are adults. But you and I are adults. I want you to deal with it as an adult,’ and he finally said, ‘I understand. For my ex-wife, she can now work without worrying about time. I myself was anxious about this kind of life, but I was able to live with three children and five adults, including my mother. adults, and five adults, including my mother. I have come to think that having three children and five adults, including the mother, is not as bad as it seems. I have a mixture of romantic feelings, comradely feelings, and various other feelings toward Mr. Tetsuro. “ Respect “ I feel that there is something like that at the base of the relationship.”
In the future, ex-husbands and ex-wives may fall in love. That’s fine, Kaori said. She said she wants to tell her children that if you love someone, you want to be with them, and that is a natural thing.
We also talked about what we would do if one of the children turned out to be a gregarious person,” she said. At that time, it took four parents. It took four parents, five including my mother. We decided to face the children together as a group of five people, including my mother.
Today, Tetsuro’s children are now 17 and 15 years old, and Kaori’s is 18. For a time, Tetsuro’s younger daughter almost ran away from home and wandered around downtown, but Kaori’s mother noticed and listened to her carefully. Tetsuro’s grandparents live far away, so it must have been comforting for her to have a “grandmother-like” presence for the first time.
Reasons why she did not choose “legal marriage
The reason why this relationship has been successful so far is because all four adults have their own jobs, there was a common understanding that the children’s wishes should be confirmed and that they should “help each other out,” and above all, they all agreed that “discussion” was important. The reason for the success of the project was that the four adults were working together. The fact that Kaori and Tetsuro have not registered their marriage may also be a factor in their not being “resented” by the ex-husband and ex-wife.
I am sure there will be many things in the future, but I am glad that I became with Mr. Tetsuro, and if the family had remained the same, I might have resented my husband sooner or later. The environment we have now, where no one holds a grudge and everyone is looking out for the children, is ideal for me.”
She is not concerned about how the world sees her. Kaori spoke calmly, but I could sense her tremendous core strength. Perhaps that kind of strength is necessary to continue doing what others will not do.
Interview and text by Sanae Kameyama： Sanae Kameyama