Nagisa Watanabe’s Journey from Despair to Renewal: I’ll Challenge Everything

Isn’t it just a fake illness?

“I actually wanted to disclose my illness earlier. However, due to various reasons, I couldn’t. Not being able to make it public led to defamatory remarks such as ‘Isn’t it just malingering?’ I have been conflicted about this for a long time.”

This revelation comes from former Fuji TV announcer Nagisa Watanabe (27).

After graduating from Keio University, Watanabe joined Fuji TV in 2020. She was in charge of popular programs like “Moshimo Tours” and “Mezamashi TV.” However, in July 2023, it was suddenly announced that she would take a leave of absence due to health issues, which led to various speculations.

At the end of August this year, she left Fuji TV, and on October 1, she publicly revealed on her Instagram that she had been suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

After over a year of battling the illness, she confronted and overcame her past trauma, which led her to finally disclose her condition. Watanabe developed PTSD in June of the previous year, triggered by a shocking event in which she felt her life was in danger.

“I can’t go into detail, but at that point, I realized, ‘Ah, I’m done.’ I instinctively felt that unless I sought treatment, I would end up choosing death. When I first developed PTSD, I couldn’t face the incident and my treatment didn’t progress. Even now, I sometimes recall it.”

The cause was an unexpected trouble that occurred. Since then, Watanabe has been struggling with the haunting effects.

“It was a rainy day. When I recall the weather, the nearby station, the smells, and the food, I would experience panic attacks. I developed symptoms of PTSD, such as hyperarousal, and would feel fear even from the slightest sound. I couldn’t go to the supermarket because of the traumatic food ingredients, and I couldn’t swallow food properly. I lost 5 kg in a month. However, I was frustrated that my life was being stolen because of those who caused my PTSD. I kept pushing myself to recover, visiting that place and continuing to fight.”

She loved her work as an announcer and even considered it her vocation. Big opportunities had come her way, and both her personal and professional life were going well. But it was during this time that the incident occurred. Watanabe found it difficult even to walk, and doctors recommended hospitalization, which forced her into a long-term leave of absence.

“At first, I wanted to return to work quickly. But during work, my body would tremble, and I couldn’t stand up straight. The scripts looked distorted. Even after being hospitalized in July last year, symptoms like hyperarousal and light sensitivity didn’t subside, and I realized it would be difficult to make a fresh start.

Since the trauma was related to my job, even if I could return, I didn’t know when it might relapse. I considered filing a police report, but I hesitated. I often took notes, and in my diary from that time, I wrote, ‘I should have lived honestly with myself.’

Because of this, a few months after the incident, in the fall of last year, I was prepared to quit the company. What I had held dear slipped away from my hands in an instant. If I hadn’t developed PTSD, I probably would have continued working as an announcer.”

 

 

Please reconsider.

Even after being discharged, it was difficult for her to even walk outside for a while. Even with outpatient treatment, there was no sign of improvement.

Due to the nature of the cognitive behavioral therapy that Watanabe underwent, she first needed to confront her trauma. However, every time she remembered the events of that time, she experienced flashbacks. The treatment progressed slowly, and she couldn’t even confide in close colleagues or family, which made her feel isolated from society. She felt like she could never return to being an announcer.

In the spring of this year, Watanabe formally informed Fuji TV of her intention to resign.

“At first, I conveyed my decision through the company’s occupational physician, but I was persuaded to reconsider. The discussion wasn’t moving forward, so I consulted with my lawyer, primary care doctor, and social worker. I felt it was necessary to leave the company as soon as possible for both my treatment and to move on to the next stage of my life.”

Although the discussions remained stagnant, once she solidified her decision, she felt a little relieved.

From June, she began receiving specialized treatment, prolonged exposure therapy, and conducted an experiment to see how far she could go by herself outside. The effects began to show. With permission from Fuji TV, her primary care doctor, and her clinician, she decided to visit Paris in early August to watch the men’s volleyball at the Paris Olympics. Having been a member of the volleyball team in high school and involved in volleyball broadcasts, it was something she really wanted to see live.

However, by coincidence, her presence was captured in the broadcast footage, leading to strong criticism online.

“It might sound like an excuse, but I had already expressed my intention to resign to the company in April, and I had planned to resign by the end of July at the latest. However, due to the company’s circumstances, I was asked to wait until the program scheduling period. I want to make that clear.

Thanks to the treatment, by July, I was gradually able to control my panic attacks. As part of the treatment, I had to challenge myself with a long-distance trip experimentally.

I apologize to those who were uncomfortable, but I genuinely believe it was a worthwhile experience. It was an emotional experience that gave me hope to live in Paris and became a source of energy for tomorrow.”

 

What value does Nagisa Watanabe have?

Watanabe listened attentively while gazing directly into the reporter’s eyes. With a bright smile,  she said, “I will challenge everything I want to do for my own happiness!”

Why did Watanabe continue to report her situation on social media despite being subjected to criticism? Her feelings were expressed in this way.

“If I told my family or friends, I would be burdening them, which made me feel guilty. That’s why it was easier to speak on social media. When I saw posts from others suffering from mental health issues, I found similar opinions. Positive words from those supporting me became a huge source of energy, much more than the negative comments. I was really saved by the warm words from everyone, especially when I felt isolated from society.”

In October, she reported that her specialized treatment had ended early. After her battle, Watanabe expressed her resolve, saying, “I also want to raise awareness about mental health issues.”

“There’s no concept of complete recovery, so I don’t know when it might relapse. I’m afraid, but I know I have to live with PTSD for the rest of my life. However, on the other hand, I’ve experienced how I can become this healthy. I’ve learned the importance of treatment and proper knowledge. Unlike depression, there are hardly any personal stories of PTSD online. If I can share my experience, I would be happy if it could give courage to those suffering.”

In the future, she plans to actively challenge extracurricular activities such as psychology lectures and speaking engagements. Although her current business card title is freelance announcer, she says she has no intention of sticking to it.

“I’ve only been an announcer for about three years, so it feels arrogant to call myself one. My mother said, ‘What value does Watanabe Nagisa have if she’s not an announcer?’ and I think that’s true. But right now, I’ve decided to ‘challenge everything I want to do.’ I believe that will lead to the greatest happiness. I also want to study psychology in depth, and in the future, I hope to establish a support group for women who feel that life is difficult.”

Watanabe repeated several times during the interview, “I don’t want to regret anything anymore.” Her expression was strong and bright.

This is an unpublished cut from our magazine featuring Nagisa Watanabe in a “From Despair to Rebirth” special interview.

Unpublished cut from the magazine: Nagisa Watanabe “From Despair to Rebirth” Special Interview.