Nagisa Watanabe Reflects on Her Journey: “The Feelings I Had at That Time Were Not Wrong”

Wrote 50,000 words in 3 weeks

“People on the internet say things like ‘calculating woman’ or ‘a bundle of desire for approval.’ But that’s not true at all,” said Nagisa Watanabe (27) with a relaxed smile, without any pretense of being tough.

At the end of January, she published her first photo essay, “Filling the Transparent,” which includes over 50,000 newly written words. The book candidly describes her battle with and recovery from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), which she developed during her time as a Fuji TV announcer. The book has received a tremendous response, and nearly a month after its release, it continues to be in short supply or sold out in bookstores. On Amazon, over 1,400 reviews have been posted for the book.

Six months after leaving Fuji TV, we asked Watanabe, who is now thriving in a new stage of her career, about her current state of mind.

“From last fall, when I received the offer for the book, until its release, I was just sprinting full speed ahead. The events for readers also ended successfully, and now I feel a bit like an empty shell. I slept soundly for about 10 hours today to prepare for this interview.

Lately, when I have time off, I just watch anime endlessly. Over the past few weeks, it’s been ‘The Apothecary Diaries’ and ‘Dr. STONE.’ I’ve watched all the episodes that have been streamed, and I’ve probably gone through them several times already (laughs). My family even says, ‘It’s scary how absorbed you get,’ because once I get hooked, I really dive in.”

Her extraordinary focus also played a big role during the creation of her book.

“The essay writing period was about three weeks. Although I revised it several times afterward, the initial draft was completed much earlier than the deadline. Since I had diary entries saved up, I was writing each of the 27 topics in about 90 minutes.

I didn’t use a computer; I typed everything on my smartphone. I would often write at night, lying down, and before I knew it, morning had come because I was so absorbed. I’ve always been the type who can’t relax until I finish tasks quickly. Even as a kid, I would complete my summer vacation homework before the vacation even started. I guess I’m impatient.”

A valuable case study in PTSD

The essay, written in a short period with intense focus, has received numerous heartfelt responses.

“I’ve received so many reactions through online reviews, comments on Instagram, and direct messages. What strikes me most is how many people said they cried after reading the essay. It makes me happy, but at the same time, it feels a bit strange because I didn’t write this essay with the intention of making anyone cry. I simply recalled what had happened to me, what I felt, and the things I saw, and wrote it with the hope of conveying that truthfully.

The fact that there are people who were moved to tears means that the sadness and pain I felt are emotions others could also understand. It makes me feel warm, like my feelings at that time weren’t wrong, like they’ve been validated.”

Watanabe was diagnosed with PTSD, a mental disorder triggered by traumatic experiences that threaten one’s life. The core issue, the emotional wounds, are often so sensitive that real cases are rarely made public.

“I even received feedback from a counselor. They said the book has value from a psychiatric perspective because it’s written by someone who actually experienced PTSD and provides concrete information.

When I was diagnosed with PTSD, no matter how much I searched, I couldn’t find relatable information or a clear path to recovery, which made me very anxious. I even wondered if it was a condition that couldn’t be cured. But that’s not the case at all.

I wanted to deliver that message, and that’s why I was eager to release this book as soon as possible. I was truly happy when a social worker, who had supported me like a mother figure, said, ‘We should put this book in hospitals.’”

While she has received warm responses, hurtful comments have also been written online.

“My Instagram comment section is chaotic. When I made my illness public, people accused me of ‘faking a terminal illness for attention.’ Then when I shared updates on my recovery, they said, ‘There’s no way PTSD heals that quickly; you’re faking it.’ Just posting on social media brings comments like, ‘Stop looking at the internet and live quietly.'”

In the February 28th release of FRIDAY (March 14-21 combined issue) and the paid version FRIDAY GOLD, Nagisa Watanabe reveals her current thoughts. She also discusses how she faces her mental illness and the traumatic events that have affected her.

 

For more details and multiple photos, click here.

From the March 14-21, 2025 issue of “FRIDAY”