Prostitution, illegal drugs… Why a girl who sank into the nightlife kept “letters and good luck charms that her poisonous parents kept sending her”?

Emika Aota (pseudonym) was born in Niigata Prefecture and was controlled by her mother, a typical example of toxic parenting. Continuing from Part 1: How a girl with toxic parents became addicted to sex and drugs, we would like to take a look at her life.

After dropping out of high school, Emika went to the city at night to escape from her mother’s control. She socialized with local gang members, dabbled in illegal drugs such as marijuana, and lived a life of repeated prostitution, trafficking, and pimping.

His mother realized that she could no longer control Emika, whom she thought of as her alter ego, the way she had always done, and tried to approach her in a different way. She frequently wrote letters to Emika, expressing her sympathy, concern, and updates.

Emika says, “My mother knew she could not control me physically.

When my mother realized that she could no longer physically control me, she began to play the role of ‘a mother who cares for and watches over her daughter from afar. Because she is my Emika, I, as her mother, know how hard it is for her the most. So, she began to constantly tell me that her mother would always be watching over her.

She would also send me all kinds of good luck charms. I am sure that my mother tried to mentally control me by doing so. No matter how far my mother went, she could not live without severing the connection with me. I think that is why she tried to believe that she was connected to me through the image of a delinquent daughter and a mother who understood her delinquency.

Continuously controlled by a mother she hated: ……

Normally, a delinquent woman would be so disgusted by such a mother that she would tear up the letter and cut off contact with her.

Emika, however, did the exact opposite. Although she hated her mother so much, she gave her a new address every time she moved from one man’s house to another, looked over the letters she received, kept them in a safe place, and wore a good-luck charm. Even though she had physically distanced herself from him, he probably continued to control her mentally.

Shortly after turning 18, Emika left her native Niigata and moved to Hyogo Prefecture. She met a man a year older than her through a chat room that was popular at the time, and in exchange for a physical relationship, he agreed to let her live with him.

At this time, Emika’s sexual deviant behavior had become alarming. For some time, she had been going around to the homes of men she met in chat rooms and other places, asking them to stay over in exchange for sexual favors, but even during this time, she was getting physical with another man near the time she met him.

Emika analyzes the reason for this.

I have been a part of my mother’s life ever since I can remember. My mother controlled everything, and I lived my life like an alter ego. So I had a sense that I didn’t know what I was or where I was. But it was different only when we were having sex. Sex is something that is done between me and the other person, and my mother does not intervene. So when we were having sex, I felt as if I could be my true self.

It was the same when I was doing marijuana. It may have been a hallucination, but when I was doing it, I felt like I could be myself, away from my mother. That’s why I kept doing it. However, I have never been in love with a man. I don’t even know what love is. My parents never taught me what love is in the right form, so I can’t picture what it is.

For Emika, sex with the opposite sex was a means of temporarily escaping her mother’s curse in a spiritual sense. The use of marijuana is no different. In other words, for Emika, the opposite sex and marijuana were merely tools for this purpose.