ANSWERS&#8221; is a somewhat unusual love counseling center that specializes in sending accurate advice on infidelity, plundering love, reconciliation, and other relationships that are difficult to confide in family and friends.
 Its counselor, Shoko Mizusawa, receives consultations on adultery and looting love on a daily basis.
 This time, we will introduce a consultation from a &#8220;sareh-husband,&#8221; which refers to a husband who is having an affair with his wife. I will introduce the common points of &#8220;sareh-husbands&#8221; who are victims of adultery and the advice I actually sent to them.
<figure id="attachment_296222" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 5125px;" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-296222"><a href="#" data-ident_hash="9f923854"><img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/fridaydigital/image/private/t_article_image/wpmedia/2023/02/aflo_11696055.jpg" alt=""></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-296222" class="wp-caption-text">Photo is an image/Afro</figcaption></figure>
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This case is a consultation from Mr. Yoshiharu Takahashi (pseudonym: 42 years old). Mr. Takahashi married Junatsu, who is 2 years younger than him, 10 years ago. They had a child soon after their marriage and have a 9-year-old daughter.
At first glance, this family seems peaceful. Yoshiharu, who works overtime and comes home late every day, was unaware of this, but to his surprise, he discovered that about two months ago, he left his daughter at his parents&#8217; house for two to three hours once a week, during which time his wife was out of town.
When we questioned her as to why she went out without saying anything, she replied, &#8220;I don&#8217;t mind having a break from time to time with my friends, too, don&#8217;t you? 　She replied with a cool face, &#8220;My mother would be happy to see her grandchildren, too.
When Yoshiharu sneaked a peek at her cell phone, he found no suspicious communication, and he assumed that everything would be fine. However, when he revealed this story at a drinking party, a colleague said to him, &#8220;Maybe your wife is having an affair. (lol), he suddenly became concerned and came to us for advice.
Normally, he would have called a detective agency. However, Ms. Takahashi wanted to reassure us by saying, &#8220;It&#8217;s just your imagination.　He wanted to be reassured by being told, &#8216;Don&#8217;t worry, you&#8217;ll be fine. As soon as the phone consultation began, he asked, &#8216;Are you having an affair?&#8217; What do you think? What do you think?
After hearing about the current situation to some extent, I asked, &#8216;If he is cheating on you, do you have any idea of the cause or the stress and frustration of your wife?&#8217; The answer was, &#8220;Nothing in particular. If it were a normal consultation, I would have said, &#8220;Then it&#8217;s all right,&#8221; and hung up the phone. However, this was not the case with the cheating decision.
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<h3>Common characteristics and psychology of &#8220;sareh husbands&#8221; analyzed by Consultant Mizusawa.</h3>
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When I heard this answer, I felt suspicious. I was suspicious when I heard her answer, because during our conversation she said, &#8220;We used to quarrel a lot, but that has stopped recently. So it&#8217;s okay, right?&#8221; I was asked, &#8220;So it&#8217;s OK, isn&#8217;t it? Actually, this is one point of cheating.
First, when I asked him the reason for the marital quarrel, he replied, &#8220;I don&#8217;t remember. Despite this, Yoshiharu clearly answered, &#8220;I don&#8217;t think he has any major complaints. This inconsistency led us to ask, &#8220;Was he really able to deal with his wife the way she wanted him to?&#8221; This led to the question, &#8220;Was he really the way his wife wanted him to be?
There are four main characteristics of a &#8220;sareh-husband.
He is insensitive to changes in his wife. He is insensitive to his wife&#8217;s changes and does not notice them. 
He does not express his feelings (especially gratitude and apology). 
He is indifferent to his wife&#8217;s attractiveness as a man. 
They do not listen to their wives very much.
As we continued the interview, we found that Yoshiharu&#8217;s usual behavior was quite consistent with the above characteristics. Furthermore, his wife had said to him some time ago, &#8220;You are really sloppy,&#8221; &#8220;Can&#8217;t you admit that you are bad? &#8221; Don&#8217;t you ever think of cooperating?&#8221; I also found out that his wife used to say things like, &#8220;You are really sloppy,&#8221; &#8220;Can&#8217;t you admit that you are bad?
However, since such petulant comments have been decreasing recently, I thought that he had accepted me and said, &#8220;That&#8217;s part of who you are&#8230;&#8221; But it is good that we don&#8217;t fight anymore. But it&#8217;s good that we don&#8217;t fight anymore, isn&#8217;t it? (laugh )&#8221; Yoshiharu himself interpreted this as a good trend.
You&#8217;re not cheating on me or anything, are you?　It&#8217;s all right, isn&#8217;t it?&#8221; I honestly told Yoshiharu that I felt that &#8220;the situation could have been cheating on me,&#8221; as he asked for my consent.
I told him that I felt the situation was such that it was not surprising that he was cheating on me. Fighting will also cease when the passion to do something about the other person disappears and when the person is no longer interested or has another object of interest.
However, we cannot say for sure yet. So again, I told you to check the following things.
Whether there are days when the atmosphere of makeup is different from usual. 
Whether there is an increase in relatively new underwear. 
The reaction of the couple when I invite them to a sexual intercourse.
We will examine their actions, not their words. If Yoshiharu asked her any direct questions, she would probably just be dodged on the grounds that she was socializing with a friend.
I thought that since there was a strong possibility that she was aware that her husband was indifferent to her, she might be lax in her behavior or belongings.
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The end result was &lt;&#8221; <a href="https://friday.kodansha.co.jp/article/296224">My wife discovered the affair!</a> &#8221; After <a href="https://friday.kodansha.co.jp/article/296224">receiving advice, the &#8220;saree husband&#8221; suddenly became popular</a>&#8230; (Part 2).
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 She is an active romance agent, infidelity diagnostician, infidelity consultant, and matching appraiser, and works as a counselor at ANSWERS, a telephone consultation service. Her curriculum series that drills the know-how and techniques of romance acquired in the field of romance work is also very popular.

 Shoko Mizusawa

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