“The Cat Mansion,” “Living with a Mannequin,” “Oxygen Tank”… The “Way Too Quirky” Male Customers Encountered by a Low-End Sex Worker
“Stinging at the Limit” [Part 2]
The Three Male Customers Who Left the Strongest Impression
*Mandala*’s book, *The Stinging Edge: The Unvarnished Diary of a Fat Sex Worker in Freefall* (Shishiosha), which vividly chronicles her real-life experiences working as a “low-tier sex worker,” was published on September 1.What do customers look like from a sex worker’s perspective? This is the second part of an interview in which *Mandala* discusses the incredibly diverse “behaviors” of the men described in the book.
*Mandala* worked for three years in the so-called “lowest rung” of the adult entertainment industry, including “plus-size-specialty escort services,” “married-woman escort services,” and “ultra-cheap soaplands.” There, she witnessed firsthand the “behavioral patterns” of a wide variety of male clients.While *Higan Hirihiri* features numerous male clients with wildly unique personalities, we asked her to name the three who left the strongest impression on her.
[Cat House]
He was the client with the highest “rejection rate” at the escort service where she worked at the time. He lived on the second floor of an old wooden apartment building in a working-class neighborhood with three cats.His filthy room—which appeared to be cleaned only about once a year—had a dining-kitchen area where the entire floor served as a cat litter box, emitting a horrific urine stench that clung to your skin. In the tatami room, there was no space for a human aside from a thin futon, and even the futon itself was covered in cat hair.He reportedly only requested new girls, and some would come home in tears, while others quit on the spot.
“The ‘Cat House’ really stands out by a mile. I can still smell the urine deep in my nose. There were parts I couldn’t even begin to describe, like how filthy and moldy the bathroom was. I think it would be pretty intense if I drew it. There wasn’t even a cup in the bathroom, so I had to use Isodine with my bare hands.”
[The Man Who Lives with a Mannequin]
A tall, handsome 32-year-old living in a stylish, Asian-inspired apartment. However, for some reason, he lives with a creepy naked mannequin. He said he called an escort because he didn’t want his girlfriend to see his kinky side.The session itself went fine, but when she tried to get dressed afterward, he pulled what appeared to be an unwashed, oversized vibrator from under the sofa, forced it against her, and assaulted her violently.
“Just like the ‘Cat House’ guy, he’s the typical type who treats girls like objects and doesn’t see them as human beings.”
[The Old Man with the Oxygen Tank]
A client I met while working away from home—an old man with a tube in his nose, dragging an oxygen tank behind him with a rattling sound. He’d had both lungs opened due to a pulmonary hematoma, and at the time, he was seeing doctors in neurosurgery, internal medicine, psychiatry, and urology.He kept the long tube attached even while bathing and during sex, and his movements were as slow as a sloth’s. Despite suffering from both brain and lung conditions and having undergone numerous surgeries, he was a kind man who seemed almost enlightened.
“The old man with the oxygen tank was someone who made me realize that ‘life’ really is ‘sex.’ He had such an ‘obsession with sex’—to the point where I thought he might die if he gave it up—that he really left a lasting impression on me. He wasn’t a bad person.”
The Definition of a “Terrible Client”
While various other male clients appear in this book besides these three, what’s interesting is that *Mandala* never turned down any client, no matter how eccentric. In fact, she was requested again by “Nekoyashiki” and visited his home, even going so far as to criticize him. Doesn’t she find it scary or unpleasant?
“I just end up thinking, ‘It wouldn’t be fun if I turned him down.’ When I was working away from home, there was one guy who made me think, ‘It’d be scary if this person came back,’ and there was a time when I actually felt my life was in danger.He’s the man featured in the ‘Creepy Clients’ section of the book. He was someone I couldn’t connect with at all—to the point where I felt my life was in danger—so I was definitely scared, but I was told that, under the terms of my contract as a migrant worker, I couldn’t refuse him. So, in the end, I’ve never actually turned anyone down.”
I asked *Mandala* for her definition of a “crap customer.” “Intense people leave a strong impression, but I might not actually remember that many ‘crap customers,’” she said, before continuing:
“My definition of a ‘jerk customer’ starts with ‘canceling the bath’ or ‘canceling brushing my teeth.’ Then there are people who blatantly show on their faces that they’re disappointed. I think that if you’re about to receive a service but make a sour face at the other person—making it hard for them to provide the service comfortably—the quality of the service will suffer. They just don’t know how to enjoy themselves. They probably don’t see the other person as a real, emotional human being.
Also, while they might not quite qualify as ‘jerk customers,’ the ones I find unpleasant are those who touch me too roughly—probably because they’ve picked up their techniques from adult videos. This is common among the Showa generation. I wonder if, as they get older, their brains stop registering stimulation unless it’s intense, or if they just get used to it and go overboard. I get the impression that the older they are, the more likely they are to be rough.”
Currently, as a “Sex Life Coach,” *Mandala* draws on her experience serving many men to provide one-on-one guidance to men struggling with basic sexual concerns, such as how to touch a woman.
“I always tell them in my lessons, ‘Communication is the most important thing.’ There are really so many people who have sex in silence. I wonder if they forget to talk or if they’re just too caught up in the moment.
I also tell them they absolutely must not ask, ‘Does it feel good?’ Instead, they should ask, ‘Does it hurt?’ or ‘Is the pressure okay?’ Especially with sex workers, just asking those questions makes you seem like a really good client. It makes them feel like they’re being treated like a human being.
These days, quite a few people come to my lessons saying, ‘I want to learn how to adjust my touch when I’m with a woman.’ I think we’re living in a good era. The women themselves are becoming more assertive too; many sex workers in their 20s and 30s clearly tell their clients, ‘Girls prefer this kind of touch over that one,’ and actively help them improve.”
Ultimately, respect for one another and communication are the most important things in relationships between men and women.
“Burning at the Limits: The Unvarnished Diary of a Fat Sex Worker in Steady Decline”