“I Work at a Supermarket Now” — Takahisa Maeyama Opens Up About a Life of Being Hated Just for Existing

“I believe the abuse directed at me won’t end unless I die.”

Takehisa Maeyama (35) was active as an actor in stage productions and musicals. After describing the days when he was exposed and attacked on social media simply for walking around town, he said, “I’ve gotten used to it… or rather, I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’ll be criticized even for simply breathing.” He then continued with the words above.

In December 2021, following the death of Sayaka Kanda, whom he was dating at the time, Maeyama faced a wave of harsh criticism and online abuse, prompted in part by weekly magazine reports concerning their relationship. He subsequently left his agency in 2022. As is widely known, he retired from the entertainment industry.

After a period away from the public eye, he has now resumed his activities in a new form, including live streaming on TikTok and producing music.

Even now, Maeyama continues to face harsh criticism. Why, then, did he choose to put himself in the public eye again? We asked him about the time he spent away from the entertainment industry, his life today, and why he continues his activities.

Don’t mention Maeyama on social media

“I ended up giving up on my dream of becoming an actor halfway through, so it was a huge shock at the time. Not only could I not imagine continuing my entertainment career, I could hardly even imagine doing an ordinary job.

I became unable to stay in Japan and studied abroad in South Korea for a while, but after returning home, I began thinking, ‘I want to work in entertainment again.’ It was about two years after I quit. I couldn’t just go on without working forever, and I was also consulting with people around me. That’s how I ended up being cast in a stage production in 2024.”

However, as soon as Maeyama’s comeback was announced, the planned stage production was flooded with criticism. Performers who felt that their safety was at risk one after another withdrew, and the production was ultimately canceled. As he tried once again to return to the public eye, he was forced to confront anew the harsh gaze directed at him by the public.

His relationships with those around him also changed.

“I was having dinner with some actor friends when one of them confided in me, ‘My agency told me not to post on social media that I’m in contact with Maeyama.’ I don’t mind being attacked myself. What hurts more is making my friends feel uncomfortable or causing trouble for them. I couldn’t stand the thought that they might also be viewed negatively simply because they supported me.

The same thing happened several times, and I made up my mind. ‘From now on, I’ll do everything by myself without involving anyone else.’ That way, no one except me would be attacked. I handle everything myself, from running my fan club to managing my social media. I don’t even have a manager. On TikTok, I simply post by myself and don’t engage in battles. Once I actually tried it, I found it easier for me.”

Today, TikTok is at the center of his activities.

“I started in April this year at the very lowest D5 rank. Since I was doing everything on my own and learning by myself, I didn’t even know how TikTok worked at first. I didn’t know about the gifts (tips) that fans could send me, either. I was replying with things like, ‘Thank you for sending me a sticker!’”

Even so, the harsh criticism from the public did not stop.

“I was attacked when I started my fan club and YouTube channel, too. I think the fans who had supported me for years have gradually decreased. Honestly, it’s difficult to win back the people who liked me when I was glamorous and had no scandals.

But on the other hand, there are also people who have become new fans. So now, rather than trying to win back my old fans, I feel that all I can do is have people who get to know me as a person and empathize with me support me. I have to have people become fans by seeing my life itself. I’ve given up on returning to the public stage as an actor. Acting is a job that involves other people.”

“I Have No Regrets About Leaving the Entertainment Industry”

While discussing his current life, Maeyama revealed an unexpected fact.

“I work part-time at a supermarket in Tokyo.”

During his time as an actor, Maeyama was active in stage productions and musicals and had also gained popularity for his good looks. If someone like him were standing on the sales floor of an ordinary neighborhood supermarket, you might expect customers to recognize him and cause a commotion.

“There was one time when the store manager recognized me and said, ‘You’ve been through a lot.’ But perhaps because I wear a mask, no customers have ever recognized me.”

While working, he wears a name tag that says “Maeyama” and works on the sales floor just like the other part-time employees. He also works the registers and restocks merchandise.

“I handle everything from vegetables to snacks. Restocking the heavier drinks is tough. The back room is cold, too. But the hardest thing is when I finish restocking too quickly. Having nothing left to do while there’s still time left on my shift is the hardest part.”

Maeyama’s TikTok account, which has become the main focus of his activities, climbed from the lowest D5 rank to the upper A1 rank in just four months after he began streaming. He should have no trouble making a living, yet he still has a reason for continuing his supermarket job.

“When I’m working, I can forget that I’m being attacked. I can forget about the painful reality. I can’t even use my phone while I’m working, and while I’m immersed in my tasks, I don’t have to think about anything else. I think the reason I can’t bring myself to quit my part-time job is because that time is important to me.”

The time he spent away from the entertainment industry also changed Maeyama’s attitude toward work.

“Even when I see actors who used to perform on the same stage as me succeeding, I no longer feel frustrated or jealous. Maybe it’s because I was criticized so much that I hit rock bottom, but I’ve recently realized that it’s not that I want to be in the entertainment industry—I simply like being in front of people.

The criteria for what it means to make it are pretty vague these days, too. For example, influencers who appear on dating reality shows become famous and gain more followers on social media, but does that mean they’ve made it? In the first place, are they celebrities?

I used to feel frustrated that I couldn’t return to the entertainment industry, but now I’ve come to feel that I don’t need to be fixated on the entertainment industry as a place. I can create my own platform and pursue my activities there.”

One of the new activities Maeyama has begun on his own platform is music production. His original entry into the entertainment industry came through an audition for an idol group.

“I’ve always wanted to release music. I thought about what I needed to do to achieve that goal, and decided that first I should build up a loyal fan base through stage performances, and then release music. That’s why I also appeared in musicals. But I never thought I had any particular talent for music. Even when fans would tell me, ‘Mae-chan, you should release a song,’ there was still a part of me that was trying to look cool.

Even after I retired from the entertainment industry, I approached a record company and told them, ‘I want to release music.’ They gave me a positive response, but if I had a band and a large number of staff working with me, I worried that I might end up causing another controversy and dragging them into it. So I ultimately gave up on the idea.”

Music production was “Meh”

Leaving the entertainment industry also allowed Maeyama to fulfill a dream. The person who gave him the impetus to seriously start producing music was an employee at a shop he frequented.

“The employee was a rapper. He didn’t know that I was Takehisa Maeyama, and when I told him I wanted to release music, he taught me everything—from how to use a studio and record to how to make music.

I used to belong to a major agency, so whenever I wanted to do anything, my manager and the people around me would take care of everything. I’ve come to realize how fortunate I was to have that support, but I also found that things moved faster when I handled them myself. I was free to do what I wanted, and it suited me.”

These days, he purchases pre-made beats known as type beats and creates songs by adding his own lyrics, melodies, and other elements.

“When you search using the name of an artist you like, all kinds of beats come up. Apparently, this is a method rappers often use, and I was told, ‘With this method, you can make a song in as little as one day.’ I was amazed.

For example, after finishing a TikTok stream, I’ll use my free time to search for beats on YouTube, hum a melody that comes to me, record it on my phone. I was able to make three songs in about three weeks.”

Although he learned how to make music from scratch, his experience recording during his days as an actor in musicals came in handy when it came to recording.

“I had experience recording when I was performing in so-called 2.5-dimensional musicals. I wasn’t embarrassed about singing in front of a microphone, so I was able to get into it pretty easily.

I’m the type of person who is either 0 or 100. Once I think, ‘This is it!’ I charge ahead at full speed without overthinking things. I’ve always loved music and listened to all kinds of songs, so perhaps I was already accustomed to expressing myself.

Actually, around the time the pandemic made it impossible to leave home, I had more free time, so I tried making music, which had been a dream of mine for years. I made a song thinking, ‘Let’s make it go viral,’ but my manager at the time listened to it and said, ‘It’s kind of meh.’ So I gave up on it. It was pretty shocking (laughs).

Now, though, I’m making music that I like and getting to have my fans listen to it. Of course, I don’t consider myself an artist. I’m simply happy that I can do what I truly want to do with 100% purity.”

While he was looking for ways to resume his activities, there were also people who offered to help him, saying, “I can help you.” With the cooperation of those around him, he launched a YouTube channel and even took on roles that left a strong impression, such as a secret-photography man. The videos gained views, but he says he also received harsh criticism, with some viewers conflating the characters he played with Maeyama himself.

“I don’t regret it. Whether it’s work or romance, I’ve always approached everything seriously, giving it 100%. Naturally, people are going to have different opinions. I’m the person who understands myself best. So now, as I keep saying, I want to think carefully about what I truly want to do and bring it to life on my own, giving it my all.”

Even now, Maeyama continues to face online abuse. There have even been times when friends worried about his physical and mental well-being after seeing him subjected to criticism for such a long time. Even so, rather than disappearing from the public eye, Maeyama chose to step forward and put himself in front of people again.

“For example, even if I disappeared from the public eye and quietly lived a happy life somewhere far away, I think the people who want to attack me would still attack me. I think there are people who wouldn’t be satisfied with anything other than my death. So I thought, then I’ll step into the public eye. I’ll move forward.”

During his TikTok live streams, he sometimes receives comments from haters. He says that when comments become malicious, he sometimes admonishes them, saying, “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Sometimes fans watching my streams will also call out the haters. I’m grateful for that. At this point, I feel like there’s no choice but to look at it positively—something along the lines of even bad publicity is better than being unknown. I have to turn the fact that so many people have come to know me as a person into something positive.”

He says the purpose of giving this interview was to overwrite the past.

“When I’m doing TikTok Live, people who have only recently discovered me sometimes ask, ‘Why is this person being attacked?’ There are also people who first learned about me through my streams and came to like me. So rather than running away from my past, I decided that I would keep working, continue making the news, and keep overwriting and updating the information people have about the new me.

Some people become afraid of being in front of others after experiencing a controversy or being subjected to intense backlash. Some even give up on their dreams.

But if there’s someone like me as an example, maybe they’ll think, ‘There are ways to live like this, too.’ I’m being subjected to online abuse simply for being alive, but if I continue my activities, I hope that can become a signpost toward getting back on their feet for people like that.

Maybe that’s the meaning in me continuing to work hard on my own.”