“I Already Apologized!” Using a “Customer Service Manual” as a Shield to Intimidate Customers… The Reality of the Rapid Rise in “Reverse Customer Harassment” and “Monster” Store Employees

What Is the Rapidly Rising Phenomenon of “Reverse Customer Harassment”?

In recent years, efforts to combat customer harassment (hereinafter “kasuhara”) have intensified.It’s becoming more common to see “STOP! Customer Harassment” awareness posters around town, and the number of local governments nationwide enacting their own anti-customer harassment ordinances—some of which include criminal penalties—is surging. Starting this October, all companies—regardless of industry or size—will be required to implement measures to prevent customer harassment.

However, a new problem has emerged: “reverse customer harassment.”

Reverse customer harassment refers to acts in which employees unilaterally refuse to serve customers, causing them harm, or make customers feel uncomfortable by using abusive language or adopting an intimidating attitude. According to Kaname Murazaki, Representative Director of the Japan Harassment Association, the number of cases that can be classified as reverse customer harassment has been increasing over the past year.

“For example, there are employees who, in response to a customer’s legitimate complaint, say unnecessary things like, ‘You’re partly to blame, aren’t you?’ The employee may not intend to be rude, but it’s simply an unnecessary remark that makes the other person uncomfortable, and it amounts to reverse customer harassment.”  

Furthermore, high-handed attitudes by employees—such as staff at clothing stores staring at customers from head to toe, or employees at luxury brand stores treating customers with a condescending gaze as if assessing their social status—are frequently called out online.”

The other day, I witnessed a scene like this at a restaurant.

A female customer in her 30s or 40s pointed out a mistake made during her order to the same staff member at the register. The staff member offered a half-hearted apology, looking displeased. The customer left the store but turned back and began complaining to another staff member about the first employee’s poor attitude.At that, the original staff member retorted forcefully, “But I did apologize!” The customer flew into a rage, shouting, “It’s your attitude that’s the problem!” It looked as though the situation might escalate into a physical altercation, but another staff member stepped in and desperately tried to calm them down, preventing a confrontation.

I realize this is a rare case involving two highly emotional individuals, but what surprised me most was the clerk’s defiant attitude, which only served to further inflame the customer’s anger.

Store clerks hiding behind the manual

In modern times, the common understanding is no longer that “the customer is god,” but rather that “customers and employees are on equal footing.” As instances of customer harassment increase, there is a growing trend to view the customer as at fault rather than blaming the employee for the customer’s anger.Manuals on how to handle customer harassment—such as “respond to customer harassment with a firm attitude”—are now widely known. For this very reason, Mr. Murazaki analyzes that “employees are becoming more likely to take a confrontational stance.”

“A decade or so ago, if a customer got angry, it was the employee’s responsibility, and supervisors would harshly evaluate them for poor customer service. Therefore, it was, in a sense, common sense to apologize first to calm the customer down and quickly resolve the situation on the spot.”  

However, in today’s world, if an employee apologizes, it can lead the customer to mistakenly believe their own sense of justice is correct, which may actually provoke customer harassment. Because this concern is so significant, companies tend to avoid making apologies too readily.”  

In addition, companies are developing detailed manuals that specify, for example, that “it’s acceptable to tell a customer you can’t assist them any further if they’re taking up unnecessary time,” “if a customer starts using abusive language, you should hand the matter over to a supervisor,” and “if a call with a customer drags on at a call center, it’s okay to hang up.”“I think it’s true that these manuals are making it easier for employees to take a firm stance.”

As mentioned earlier, measures to prevent customer harassment will become mandatory for all companies this October. Mr. Murazaki warns that these mandatory requirements will likely lead to a further increase in “reverse customer harassment.”

“Since dealing with customer harassment will become the company’s responsibility, employees will be more likely to take a firm stance than ever before. For those with a strong personality, I expect we’ll see even more cases where they retort to customers with phrases like ‘I already apologized!’—as in the example—or adopt high-handed, intimidating attitudes and language.”  

A cover-up for declining service quality?

As I see the term “kasuhara” more and more often, I—being a bit of a worrier—have started to think there’s a non-zero chance that my own words and actions could be perceived as kasuhara.

For example, when asking about a product, if I don’t quite grasp the explanation and ask a follow-up question, even a clerk who had been friendly up until that point can instantly adopt a puzzled expression or tone of voice. Realizing that my unusual questions are making the other person wary, I’ve found myself giving up before resolving my doubts more often—simply because I don’t want to be treated like a complainer.

Mr. Murazaki offers this perspective on companies’ responses:

“With ‘customer harassment’ running rampant, some employees—especially younger ones—have become highly wary, so they may overreact even when simply asked about a product. I think there are also cases where, due to a lack of experience and product knowledge, they lose their composure and unintentionally end up engaging in ‘reverse customer harassment.’”  

Furthermore, it is crucial for companies to ‘avoid creating situations where customer harassment is likely to occur.’ For this reason, there is a tendency to deliberately standardize customer service procedures.”  

If there are individual differences in service, customers’ demands escalate—asking, ‘Why can’t this employee do it when that one can?’—which leads to customer harassment. Even if it results in a cold, by-the-book response, companies likely feel the need to standardize procedures to minimize the expression of employees’ individuality.”

I think this means that by prioritizing measures against customer harassment, customer service has become one-dimensional and unable to respond flexibly to individual circumstances. However, viewed from another angle, it could also be interpreted as companies resigning themselves to the idea that standardizing or scaling back service is unavoidable under the noble cause of preventing customer harassment.

While protecting employees is important, I believe that if the number of assertive employees who reject even reasonable opinions and legitimate requests from customers increases, service quality will plummet and the company’s reputation will only continue to decline.

“It is necessary to take a firm stance and clearly state, ‘We cannot go any further with this request if it is deemed unreasonable.’ However, if a decision is made not to accommodate a customer simply because there is no precedent or it isn’t in the manual, the customer will ultimately suffer as a result.”  

I believe that service providers are expected to respond flexibly—even when faced with unexpected situations or requests they aren’t familiar with—rather than automatically assuming they cannot accommodate them.”  

That said, the most urgent priority for companies is addressing customer harassment. It’s said that virtually no companies are taking measures with “reverse customer harassment” in mind.

“Since the term ‘reverse customer harassment’ itself isn’t widely understood yet, companies are falling behind. There are already many people who, even when dissatisfied with a product or service, keep quiet because they don’t want to be misunderstood as engaging in customer harassment. If they’re met with a high-handed attitude from an assertive employee, their frustration could instantly explode and spread like wildfire on social media, sparking a major backlash.

I think it’s only then that companies will begin to view ‘reverse customer harassment’ as a problem and urge employees to avoid behaving in an overly aggressive manner.”  

I hope that readers of this article will ask themselves whether they might be engaging in “reverse customer harassment”—even without an official announcement from their company—and take the initiative to be mindful of their behavior.”

The “Proper Way to File a Complaint” for Smart Customers

So, how should customers convey their legitimate requests to service providers?

“It’s important to convey your concerns calmly and without letting your emotions get the better of you. If you sense that the other person is on guard or that the conversation isn’t going anywhere, it might be a good strategy to wait a while—or even come back another day—and speak to a different employee.The key is to avoid creating any triggers that might escalate the situation. If both sides get worked up—as in cases where arguments break out at restaurants—the customer inevitably ends up bearing the ‘risk of being labeled a troublemaker,’ which is a huge loss.”  

Before you speak up, keep in mind that no matter how the other person reacts, you should remain calm throughout the conversation. If you stay focused on this, you won’t get swept up in their emotions even if they become emotional.

Even if you work in customer service, there will be times when you’re the customer yourself, so I hope you’ll try to imagine both sides of the situation. Mistakes can happen from either side, and sometimes we say too much. It’s important to honestly acknowledge your own mistakes and cultivate a broader perspective in your daily life so that you’re always ready to correct yourself.  

It’s not easy, but I believe that if each and every one of us remains mindful of customer harassment, we can move toward a society where, even if we can’t eliminate it entirely, we can at least prevent it to some extent.”

▼Kaname Murasaki: Representative Director of the Japan Harassment Association. Harassment expert. Advisor for the Tokyo Metropolitan Government’s FY2022 “Harassment Prevention Measures Promotion Project.”He provides commentary on power harassment, sexual harassment, customer harassment, and financial harassment on TV news programs and other media. He has also provided numerous case studies and supervised reenactment dramas for television programs focused on harassment. His publications (co-authored) include *Life Design Guide 2024* (Taishukan Shoten), a supplementary textbook for high school home economics classes.