“I Said Sorry Already!” How Some Employees Weaponize Company Rules Against Customers

What is the rapidly increasing reverse customer harassment?

In recent years, efforts to address customer harassment (hereafter “customer harassment”) have been gaining momentum. More people are seeing awareness posters in public spaces that say “STOP! Customer Harassment,” and the number of local governments introducing their own customer harassment prevention ordinances — including criminal penalties — is rapidly increasing nationwide. Starting this October, all companies, regardless of industry or size, will be required to implement measures to prevent customer harassment.

However, at the same time, a new problem has emerged: reverse customer harassment.

Reverse customer harassment refers to situations in which employees unilaterally refuse to respond to customers, causing disadvantages to customers, or make customers uncomfortable through abusive language or intimidating behavior. According to Kaname Murasaki, representative director of the Japan Harassment Association, cases that could be considered reverse customer harassment have increased over the past year.

“For example, there are employees who respond to legitimate complaints from customers by saying unnecessary things such as, ‘The customer is also at fault, isn’t that right?’ They may not intend to offend anyone, but it is simply an unnecessary remark that makes the other person uncomfortable and can lead to reverse customer harassment.

In addition, employees’ overbearing attitudes — such as looking customers up and down in clothing stores, or treating customers at luxury brand shops with a gaze that seems to judge their social status — have repeatedly become topics of discussion online.”

Recently, the writer witnessed the following scene at a restaurant.

A female customer in her 30s or 40s pointed out a mistake made during her order to the employee who had handled it at the time of payment. Although the employee seemed dissatisfied, they apologized. The customer then left the restaurant, but soon turned around and began telling another employee about the first employee’s poor attitude.

At that moment, the employee in question strongly argued back, saying, “But I apologized!”

The customer became angry and replied, “Your attitude is exactly the problem.” The situation appeared close to escalating into a physical confrontation, but another employee stepped in and desperately calmed both sides down, preventing the situation from getting worse.

Although both sides were behaving emotionally and this may have been an unusual case, what was most surprising was the employee’s aggressive attitude, which only further provoked the customer’s anger.

Employees using manuals as a shield

In today’s society, the idea that the customer is always right has been replaced by the common understanding that customers and employees are on equal footing. As customer harassment has increased, there is a growing tendency to view situations where customers become angry not as the employee’s fault, but as the customer being in the wrong. Manuals for dealing with customer harassment, such as respond firmly when faced with customer harassment, have also become widely known. For that reason, Murasaki analyzes that employees have become more likely to take an aggressive stance.

“In the past, if a customer became upset, it was considered the employee’s responsibility, and supervisors would harshly evaluate them for having poor customer service skills. Therefore, in order to calm the customer’s anger, it was almost common practice to apologize first and resolve the situation quickly.

“However, today, if employees apologize, there is a concern that customers may misunderstand this as proof that their own sense of justice is correct, potentially encouraging further customer harassment. Because companies are more concerned about this risk, there is now a tendency to avoid making easy apologies.

“In addition, companies are developing detailed manuals, such as: ‘If a customer keeps you occupied unnecessarily, you may tell them that you cannot continue responding’; ‘If a customer uses abusive language, hand the matter over to a supervisor’; and ‘If a call with a customer center representative continues for too long, you may end the call.’

“I believe that these kinds of manuals have made it easier for employees to take a stronger stance by using them as a shield.”

As mentioned earlier, starting this October, all companies will be required to implement customer harassment prevention measures. Murasaki warns that this obligation may lead to a further increase in reverse customer harassment.

“Since dealing with customer harassment will become a company responsibility, employees will be more likely to take a stronger stance than before. For more assertive individuals, cases like the example of saying, ‘But I apologized!’ to customers, as well as using arrogant or intimidating attitudes and language, may become even more common.”

A cover for declining service quality?

As the term “customer harassment” (“kasuhara”) has become more common, the timid writer has come to feel that there is at least a possibility that even their own words and actions could be perceived as customer harassment.

For example, when making inquiries about a product, if I ask detailed questions because I do not fully understand something, even a store employee who had been friendly up until then may suddenly change to a suspicious expression or tone of voice. I can sense that unusual questions are making the other person more cautious, and I have increasingly given up on resolving my concerns because I do not want to be treated as a troublesome customer.

Murazaki views such corporate responses this way:

“Because customer harassment has become widespread, some employees—especially younger ones—have developed a strong sense of caution, and they may overreact even when a customer is simply asking about a product. If they have little experience and limited product knowledge, they may become overwhelmed and unintentionally engage in reverse customer harassment.

Another important thing for companies is preventing situations in which customer harassment is likely to occur. For that reason, there is a tendency to standardize customer service deliberately.

If there are differences between employees in the services they provide, customers may start saying, ‘Why can that employee do it, but this employee cannot?’ Their demands can escalate, leading to customer harassment. Even if responses become somewhat cold because employees are simply following manuals, it may be necessary to standardize service so that individual employees’ personalities do not come through as much as possible.”

It may be said that placing too much emphasis on preventing customer harassment has made customer service one-dimensional and reduced the ability to respond flexibly to individual circumstances. However, from another perspective, it can also appear as though companies are using the justification of customer harassment prevention to accept the standardization or reduction of services as unavoidable.

Protecting employees is important, but if more employees adopt a forceful attitude and refuse even reasonable opinions or legitimate requests from customers, the quality of service will decline and companies’ reputations will only suffer.

“For demands that are considered unreasonable, it is necessary to firmly state that further assistance cannot be provided. However, if a company decides it cannot respond simply because there is no precedent or it is not in the manual, the customer will ultimately suffer a disadvantage.

Those providing services should not immediately conclude that something is impossible simply because they are faced with something unexpected or something they are unfamiliar with. They need to respond flexibly.”

Nevertheless, the urgent priority for companies remains addressing customer harassment. Murazaki says that virtually no companies are taking measures with reverse customer harassment in mind.

“The term reverse customer harassment itself is still not widely recognized, so companies are behind the curve. There are already many people who put up with dissatisfaction toward products or services because they do not want to be mistaken for someone engaging in customer harassment. If such people are treated arrogantly by overconfident employees, their frustration could quickly explode and spread or go viral on social media.

Only then might companies begin to recognize reverse customer harassment as a problem and start warning employees not to take their attitudes too far.

I hope that people who read this article will ask themselves whether they are engaging in reverse customer harassment even without any announcement from their company, and make an effort to be mindful of their own behavior.”

The right way to complain for smart customers

So how should customers communicate legitimate requests to service providers?

“It is important to express yourself calmly and without letting emotions get involved as much as possible. If you feel that the other person is becoming defensive or that the conversation is not going smoothly, one strategy is to wait and speak with another employee at a different time or on another day. The important thing is to avoid creating opportunities for the situation to escalate.

As in the case at the restaurant where both sides became involved in an argument, once both parties become heated, the customer inevitably ends up carrying the risk of being accused of customer harassment, which puts them at a significant disadvantage.

“One thing customers should keep in mind before speaking up is that, no matter what attitude the other person takes, they themselves should continue the conversation calmly. If you prepare yourself mentally in this way, you will not be easily provoked even if the other person becomes emotional.

Even people who work in customer service also become customers themselves, so I would like them to try imagining things from both perspectives. People in either position can make mistakes, and sometimes they may say too much. What is required is to honestly accept one’s own mistakes and continue developing the humility to correct oneself whenever necessary.

It is not easy, but if each individual becomes more aware of customer harassment, I believe we can move toward a society where it can be prevented at least to some extent, even if achieving perfection is impossible.”

▼ Kaname Murasaki — Representative Director of the Japan Harassment Association. A harassment specialist. Served as an advisor for Tokyo’s “Harassment Prevention Measures Promotion Project” in fiscal year 2022. He explains issues such as workplace harassment, sexual harassment, customer harassment, and “fuki-hara” (harassment involving displays of bad moods) on television news programs and other media. He has also provided numerous case studies and supervised reenactments for television programs focusing on harassment. His co-authored works include “Life Design Guide 2024,” a supplementary textbook for high school home economics classes (Taishukan Publishing).