“Mariko-sama Never Felt Like Me”—Mariko Shinoda Opens Up About Life as an AKB48 Icon

Struggling with the gap

“During my time in AKB48, I had mixed feelings about being called ‘Mariko-sama.’ I honestly wanted to be a classic idol, and I wished I had a cute nickname like ‘Mayuyu.’ Since ‘Mariko-sama’ caught on—for better or worse—I started leaning into that image, saying things like, ‘My favorite food is yakiniku.’ At first, though, that version of myself always felt a little unnatural.” (laughs)

After joining AKB48 in 2006, Mariko Shinoda placed third in the group’s first General Election and remained one of the legendary “Kami 7” core members until her graduation in 2013. Behind that glamorous career, however, she struggled with a sense of inner conflict.

“Since I was older than the other members, I was often cast as the teacher in music videos. What I really wanted was to play a student alongside everyone else. I kept wondering, ‘Why am I the only one?’ It really bothered me. Looking back now, I think, ‘Actually, that made me stand out in a good way,’ but when I was younger, the gap between me and the others was painful.”

After finishing her role as “Mariko-sama” in Japan’s biggest idol group, Shinoda made a successful transition into acting. She is currently appearing in the television drama “Revenge of the Betrayed: Wives United,” where she delivers a chilling performance as a woman consumed by revenge after her husband’s affair.

In the July drama “Ochitara Owari (If You Fall, It’s Over),” airing on the Chukyo TV / Nippon TV network, she plays a villainous celebrity wife living in the penthouse of a luxury high-rise apartment.

“’Revenge of the Betrayed’ is a dark story about wives who have been cheated on forming an alliance for revenge, but the atmosphere on set is actually incredibly warm and friendly. My role in ‘Ochitara Owari’ is also quite intense, so I’m equally excited and nervous before it starts airing. I previously worked with Misato Ugaki on a radio program. Back then she was still a TBS announcer, so I never imagined we’d reunite in a television drama.” (laughs) “I already knew what kind of person Uga-chan is, so it was very easy to settle into the set.”

Having transformed from a member of one of Japan’s most popular idol groups into an actress frequently cast in striking villain roles, Shinoda says the turning point came after graduating from the group at the age of 27, when she experienced a period of burnout.

Burnout after graduation

“When I was in AKB48, my schedule was packed two years in advance. After graduating, I didn’t even have plans for the following week. I completely lost sight of what I was supposed to do. I still had the energy and wanted to work, but I kept asking myself, ‘What is my dream from here on?’

One day I suddenly thought, ‘I’ll go overseas,’ and spent about two weeks in New York. Watching shows on Broadway, I was deeply moved, thinking, ‘The people standing on these stages must have worked unbelievably hard to get here.’ That was when I finally found the strength to tell myself, ‘I’ll give it my all again.’”

Although Shinoda set out to reinvent herself as an actress, she admits she had long carried a deep insecurity about acting. The reason dated back to the days before AKB48 became a nationwide phenomenon, during the filming of one of her earliest screen projects.

“I only had a single line, but I stumbled over it. Naturally, everyone around me was thinking, ‘Who’s this girl?’ During a break I even overheard someone say, ‘Do we even need this line?’ I was so frustrated that on the way home I remember thinking, ‘I never want to act again!

After graduating from the group, I finally had both the time and the emotional space to work on myself. I figured, ‘If I’m going to embarrass myself, I’d rather do it during practice than on set,’ so I started attending acting workshops.

Meeting director Takashi Miike at one of his workshops was especially important for me. He praised my performances in scenes that involved shouting and fighting, and that was when I realized, ‘This is my strength!’ He later invited me to appear in several of his works, including the film ‘Terraformars’ and the stage production ‘Drunken Angel.’ Even so, when it comes to acting, I still think of myself as an amateur with a professional attitude.” (laughs)

While searching for her path as an actress, Shinoda landed what became her breakout role: Ayaka Okaya in the 2024 television drama “The Man Who Won’t Divorce: The Cheated Husband and His Unfaithful Wife’s Deceptive Love” (TV Asahi). Written by Osamu Suzuki, the series cast her as Ayaka, a wife caught having an affair by her husband. Shinoda threw herself into the role, fully committing to the provocative love scenes that appeared in nearly every episode. The drama generated tremendous buzz, with its catch-up streams on TVer and other platforms surpassing the premiere-viewership record for all TV Asahi programs.

“My twenties were days of constant battle”

“When I received the offer, I thought, ‘If I take this role, people will definitely notice me.’ At the same time, I was terrified that it might drag me down to rock bottom. I couldn’t give an immediate answer. But I also knew that if another actress ended up playing the part, I’d regret it forever. The fact that the offer came directly from Osamu Suzuki, a proven hitmaker, gave me the push I needed. So I made up my mind, thinking, ‘This opportunity may never come again.’”

Because she had already endured so many hardships, the difficult road ahead no longer seemed quite so daunting. In many ways, her success as an actress was a continuation of the perseverance she had developed during her years with AKB48.

“Back when I was in AKB, I worked from early morning until late at night almost every day. There were photo shoots, recordings, live broadcasts, interviews, theater performances, and handshake events. Some weeks I only slept a few hours in total. Even now, filming sometimes goes late into the night, but I always think, ‘Compared to back then, this is nothing.’”

Looking back, she describes her twenties with AKB48 as days of constant battle.

“I think all of us were fighting—both against the people around us and against ourselves. The other day I asked JURINA (29), ‘Back then, you used to say you’d sleep only when you were dead, didn’t you?’ She laughed and replied, ‘No, you should definitely get some sleep.’ (laughs) We lived with the constant fear of being dropped from the selected lineup, so I was always thinking about how to highlight my own strengths. The result was the ‘Mariko-sama’ character. I understand that now.”

Reflecting on her thirties—a decade marked by marriage, childbirth, and dramatic changes in her personal life—Shinoda describes them as ten years of searching for myself.

“In my twenties I was incredibly strict with myself, and I expected the same from everyone around me. Gradually that mindset changed. Instead of demanding perfection, I started thinking about how to make up for my imperfections. I was able to push through my twenties because I gave everything I had, so I don’t regret any of it. But by the time I reached my thirties, I realized that I was no longer fighting in that intensely competitive world.”

Shinoda turned 40 this past March. After a decade of battle followed by a decade of self-discovery, what does this milestone mean to her?

“Peace—and good health. I don’t want to set impossibly high goals anymore or drive myself into the ground. I want to set goals I truly believe I can achieve and move toward them one step at a time. That’s how I want to continue growing from here.

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with younger idols, and they no longer feel like juniors—they feel more like my own children.” (laughs) “I know they’re fighting just as desperately as I once was. I hope they keep believing that all of their hard work and struggles will eventually pay off. I’ll be cheering them on quietly from the sidelines.”

It is precisely because she lived through the era of “Mariko-sama” that she now sincerely values peace—for herself and for those around her. Having gained a deeper understanding of both herself and the craft of acting, Shinoda is stepping confidently into what she hopes will be a fulfilling decade in her forties.

From the June 19, 2026 issue of “FRIDAY”