Why Don’t Yakuza Keep Hamsters? A Former Convict VTuber Uncovers the Surprising Reason

The little-known gaming habits of Yakuza

Reincarnated as a hamster and living together with three beautiful sisters—Hamukoi: Sweet Days with Three Sisters After Being Reincarnated as a Hamster is a live-action romance game with a completely unprecedented premise. With the release of its trial version, various people have been invited to try it out.

Related article: Unexpectedly, Nobuteru Ishihara Tries a Live-Action Romance Game! The Former LDP Secretary-General’s Heart-Pounding “Hamukoi” Experience

This time, the player was virtual YouTuber Choeki Taro, well known for his trademark greeting: “Three prior convictions, inmate number 893.” When asked whether it was okay to turn on a recorder for the interview, he immediately fired back: “Sure. I’m used to police interrogations and things like that (laughs).” A characteristically punchy remark right from the start.

As he operated the mouse, Jōeki Tarō remarked in surprise, “So this is actually live-action.” He then added bluntly, “It would be a big problem if any of these girls got involved in a scandal.”

Just to be safe, a staff member explained, “To avoid that, we specifically chose people with very serious and responsible reputations.” By the way, had he played games like this before?

“A few years ago, I played a game called ‘Doki Doki Literature Club!.’ Everyone kept telling me to try it, but I had no idea it was that kind of game. I come from the generation of Space Invaders and Breakout—Dragon Quest only became popular after I was already an adult.

To begin with, even if yakuza play games, they can’t really admit it publicly because it makes them look soft. There are games featuring yakuza, like ‘Yakuza / Like a Dragon,’ but even if they know about them, they’ll pretend they don’t. In the yakuza world, there’s a mindset that we create trends ourselves. If people found out you were influenced by a game, they’d look down on you.”

The first route he tried was the youngest daughter’s route.

“It’s surprisingly interesting. I’d like to see the other girls’ stories too.”

He enjoyed experiencing the game from a hamster’s perspective in the other routes as well. While watching some of the more suggestive scenes, the conversation drifted to an unexpected topic: the little-known pet habits of yakuza.

“When people think of yakuza, they might imagine them keeping Tosa fighting dogs or pit bulls, but that’s more of a boss-level thing. They’re difficult to take care of, and since they eat raw meat, their waste smells terrible. You need to be important enough to have junior members assigned as dog caretakers.

If a yakuza has a wife and children, people will probably understand if he keeps a hamster. But for a single yakuza, keeping any pet is difficult. After all, you never know when you’re going to get arrested.

The police generally don’t concern themselves with your pets, and nobody is going to take care of them for you. If you own a short-lived pet like a hamster, it might die while you’re serving your sentence.”

Bosses’ wives are often just ordinary woman

As the game reached some of its more sensual scenes, Jōeki Tarō’s expression softened a little. When asked whether he had crossed paths with many beautiful women during his yakuza days, he replied:

“The really beautiful ones are usually mistress number two or three. The wives of high-ranking bosses are often just ordinary middle-aged women. The typical pattern is that the legal wife is dependable and manages the family’s finances.

But it’s rare to find women as beautiful as these actresses who do gravure work. When I was in detention, I was always happy when someone brought me magazines like ‘FRIDAY’ as gifts. They’d also give us the bonus DVDs that came with the magazines when we were released, but honestly, by then they were years old and I had no interest in watching them (laughs).”

During a scene in which the eldest sister dresses up as a female teacher, Jōeki smiled and remarked: “If there were teachers like that, we’d all be in trouble.”