20 million a year” and “Can’t see you on weekends”… A detective warns of the “fatal common denominator” of those who are deceived by Machiapu.

The cause of being deceived is “too high ideals

Matching apps have become a staple of the dating scene, but behind the scenes there has been a sharp increase in malicious problems with married people falsely claiming to be single and those with financial motives. Why are people who are seriously looking for a marriage partner being deceived by such clever tricks?

According to Noriko Itabashi, a counselor at a detective agency that receives more than 1,000 consultations a year, the cause is often too high ideals that do not match one’s market value or assumptions made by the brain. In this article, a professional detective reveals the “fatal similarities” between people who are deceived and the “five danger signals” that should make you suspect your partner. Is your “he who you can’t see on weekends” really single?

Matching apps allow you to put in as many criteria as you want. In the real world, most of the people you meet are from similar backgrounds to you, and it is rare to meet someone from a glamorous world that you have never met before. However, on a matching app, no one can fault you for setting up a dreamy setup.

For example, if you put in that you earn 20 million yen a year, work for a prestigious company, and are 178 cm tall, you will get a hit. When you are contacted by such people, you often feel as if you are the chosen one.

says Noriko Itabashi, a counselor at RCL Detective Agency, an investigative firm.

If you are using a marriage counseling service, you will be assigned a counselor, and if you set conditions that you think are too high, the counselor will advise you to think about it more realistically. However, with matching apps, there is no one to give advice, and we are on our own, so we often end up following fairy tales.

If someone who fits your criteria appears, and you find a match in an e-mail exchange, you are happy.

If someone fits the criteria and the conversation fits, the brain is under the illusion that he or she is the ideal person. People have the “law of consistency,” which is the tendency to stick to what they believe once they have made up their minds, and even if they think something is a little strange along the way, they tend to dismiss it and move on. And that tendency is stronger when you haven’t met them.

Itabashi says that people who mention celebrity names or who show that they are not strapped for cash, such as owning a number of properties, are suspicious.

If you tell someone you just met that you are acquainted with a certain person, you may cause trouble for that person,” says Itabashi. Normally, you would not say such a thing. Also, really rich people don’t tell someone they just met how much real estate they own.

Men often set conditions, such as “young, stylish, and cute,” but “setting such conditions can lead to falling for daddy’s activities,” says Itabashi.

Be wary of those who set high requirements without understanding their own market value.”

Caution!　The “Can’t Meet Me This Weekend” Partner

However, not everyone who is deceived has high hopes. The overwhelming majority of people who register with us are serious and want to find a marriage partner. Can even such people be deceived?

Of course they can. Everyone has the possibility of being a victim.

What kind of damage can they suffer?

Men can fall for a woman who is looking for a daddy’s love, and they need to be careful with those who are “excessively complimentary” and “demanding.

Furthermore, being single in your 30s or 40s should also make you suspicious at least once.

However, some people sign up for matching apps because they didn’t meet anyone until they were in their 30s or 40s.

As they get older, they become more serious, and once they reach their 40s or older, they feel that there is no one left, and that if they miss out on this person, there will be no one else.

However, according to Mr. Itabashi

• 1_You can’t see them on weekends.
• 2_Doesn’t know where they live
• 3__They don’t tell you where they work.
• 4__They say, “Let’s get married,” but won’t let you meet their parents.
• 5__They always go out on dates at their own house. 5__They avoid going out and spending money and don’t want to invite you to their house.

In such cases, it is better to be suspicious, he says.

Matching apps introduce you to several people who match your criteria. Even if they say ‘I love you’ or ‘Let’s get married,’ some of them are dating other people at the same time.

Some of them are dating on the premise of marriage, but they only know the station closest to their home, or when asked where they work, they say, “Let’s not talk about work. If you ask her where she works and she brushes you off by saying something like, “Let’s not talk about work, let’s talk about my next trip.

I’ve had people come to my office because they thought something was wrong because they were being begged every time they met with me, and when I checked, I found out that she had a real boyfriend.

Pursuing a liar is not the way to go.

You want to believe them, but there are some things that don’t seem right. In such a case, what you should never do is to ask the person in question directly,

In such cases, what you should never do is to ask the person in question directly. A person who is lying will not tell you the truth in the first place. They will only repeat the lie.

Should I talk to a friend?

I would not recommend that. When you talk to various people, they will only tell you what they know from their own experiences. Moreover, if you are bound by the “law of consistency,” you will not heed the advice of your friends.

So, what should I do?

If you think something is wrong, take note of what was said at the time. If a person has a snag, he or she will just keep going and pretend it didn’t happen. If the blurriness builds up, I recommend consulting an expert.”

Most survey companies charge no consultation fee. Itabashi’s company will ask what kind of people you are seeing, and if they determine that an investigation is justified and necessary, they will recommend an investigation, he said.

‘Many of our clients come to us these days after consulting with AI.

It is hard to doubt someone who you think is your ideal prince or princess, but being bewildered is a sign that there is something wrong. Itabashi says that you should be brave enough to consult an expert.

Matching apps will introduce you to several people who match your criteria, so don’t settle on just one. It is also a good idea to meet with several people. And if you are serious about finding a marriage partner, you should ask them to reveal their true identity and invite them to your home. If you can’t do that, you can’t go out with someone. If you can’t do that, I can’t have a relationship with you.

Ms. Itabashi is a counselor certified by the Japan Family Issues Counseling Association (NPO) and an industrial counselor. After working as an English conversation teacher, airport employee, and mental clinic counselor, she joined RCL. She counsels more than 1,000 cases a year.