Papa-Katsu Scene Shifts as Older Women and Single Mothers Join
Papa-katsu among women in their 40s and single mothers is increasing (image is for illustrative purposes)A relationship not for romance, but for livelihood
Papa-katsu, once considered a privilege of young women, is undergoing a major transformation. While the market was once centered on women in their 20s, women in their mid-30s to 40s, as well as single mothers, have begun to enter. Additionally, with a wider range of women participating, middle-class men are increasingly joining what had once been an activity dominated by the wealthy.
This reveals a different pattern from the old “enjo-kosai” (compensated dating) relationships. Let’s look at the changing scene through the stories of two women who actually engaged in papa-katsu.
The reasons many women in their late 30s and 40s or single mothers start papa-katsu are clear. It is often less about seeking love or excitement and more about securing financial support for daily life. Women in their late 30s to 40s are at life turning points involving marriage, divorce, childcare, and career changes. Women who are seeking work after finishing raising children, married women whose husband’s income alone is insufficient to maintain their lifestyle, or single mothers just after divorce—all share one thing in common: economic insecurity.
Especially for single mothers, papa-katsu is often chosen as a way to achieve high income in a short amount of time while balancing childcare and work.
One woman, 35 years old, who had registered on a papa-katsu app, was interviewed. When actually meeting her, the impression was quite different from the profile photo that presented her as fair-skinned and neat. Speaking with her, it turned out she had surprisingly much information to share.
She is mixed-race and works as an interpreter, having lived overseas in her childhood. She has been separated from her husband for six months due to his moral harassment, and only meets him in court. She met her husband via a matching app and had a shotgun wedding. She currently has a child in kindergarten, but receives no child support from her husband. After her relationship with her husband deteriorated, she began seeing younger men again via the app.
Married women in their 40s also receive allowances of 30,000 yen
“I learned about papa-katsu (sugar dating) on social media. My child is in kindergarten, so I have to be home by 2 p.m., which means I can only meet in the morning. Since we can only meet for a short time, I don’t think it’s realistic to ask for a high allowance.
So far, the people I’ve met have given me 30,000 yen per meeting as an allowance. If I also have a meal with them afterward, it’s 40,000 yen. On those occasions, I put my child in extended daycare. But the men mostly complained about their wives, so dealing with them was difficult.”
Although it seems strange to spend money on extended daycare fees, given her life situation—no child support after divorce and relying only on the child-rearing allowance—this may be unavoidable. Even if she were to return to work, short-hour shifts wouldn’t pay much. As a result, papa-katsu inevitably acts as a sort of welfare safety net for her.
The second woman is in her early 40s, married, and has no children. She also meets her partners through a “papa-katsu app.” Her height is average, and she has a short haircut. Her slightly tanned, darkish skin gives a healthy impression. She is not glamorous, but working as a receptionist at a gym, she exudes a clean and neat appearance. Her work mostly involves front-desk duties at the gym, with shifts that sometimes end in the early afternoon, making her schedule relatively flexible.
“It would be unnatural if I weren’t home at night, so it’s easier for me to meet someone during the daytime,” she says calmly, without the typical money-grabbing vibe often seen in papa-katsu participants. She is married, and her relationship with her husband is not particularly strained, though she admits that marital intimacy has been lacking for a long time.
When asked about the nature of her relationship with her papa-katsu partner, she replied, “If the chemistry is right, it can turn into an adult relationship. Previously, the person I met gave me 30,000 yen.”
What caught the author’s attention here was the amount of the allowance she received. Based on past interviews, most women in their 20s doing papa-katsu receive around 30,000 yen for adult activities. The previously mentioned 35-year-old woman also received 30,000 yen, which is on the high side based on past experience. Women in their 40s usually receive 15,000–20,000 yen. At first glance, this might seem like an unreasonably bold demand, but for her, this is as usual and feels normal. Nowadays, unlike in “enjo-kōsai” (compensated dating), rates are no longer determined solely by age.
A Diversifying Market
This is a new feature of the papa-katsu scene. Currently, there is a tendency for the allowance to be higher depending on where the activities take place, in the order of: matching apps → papa-katsu apps → dating clubs. This is because the cost for men to participate increases in that order, which naturally creates some degree of market segmentation. Dating clubs overwhelmingly have wealthier men than matching apps do.
That said, because the age range of women doing papa-katsu has broadened, the women in dating clubs are not necessarily all in their 20s. As a result, the standard allowance has changed significantly. In other words, the market itself is becoming more diversified. And this change is also seen on the men’s side of papa-katsu.
Papa-katsu, long seen as the leisure of the wealthy, has recently attracted more middle-class men. Men such as company employees, civil servants, and self-employed workers with monthly incomes of around 400,000–600,000 yen are entering the market seeking relationships that are more real than sex work, and more casual than romance.
Among these men, some are forming relationships not just for a transactional, monetary connection, but with a sense of realistic romantic feeling. They don’t necessarily place value solely on youth, which further diversifies the papa-katsu market.
Now that women in their 40s, single mothers, and middle-class men occupy a segment of the market, papa-katsu can no longer simply be described as an extension of compensated dating.
With women’s poverty becoming more visible and the middle class under strain, papa-katsu functions in some ways as a modern mutual-support system. Of course, there are many risks and gray areas, but it is worth considering this phenomenon not simply as prostitution or a case of moral collapse.
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Interview and text： I can't wait to tell you about a certain kind of papa activity, Mr. Director-General.