Wife-Only ED: Common Traits of Serious and Gentle Partners and a Specialist Doctor’s Recommended Solution

Why do I get a wimpy erection in front of my wife… “Why do I get an erection in porn?”

We are receiving an increasing number of consultations about ‘wife-only ED,’ in which a man does not get an erection when he wants to have sex with his wife, even though he does not dislike her.

Dr. Takaaki Miyaji, Director of the East Ekimae Clinic Akihabara Clinic, which provides ED treatment, says, “I don’t dislike my wife, but when I want to have sex with her, I can’t get an erection.

I get up in the morning and stand up when I watch adult movies, but for some reason I lose it in front of my wife. …… This is a typical symptom of “wife-only ED.

Some men lose confidence because their wives are disappointed with them and come to us for advice. We have also heard that sex was interrupted and the mood turned sour, or that the atmosphere in the house became darker the next day, and that wife-only ED can cause marital tension or trigger fights.

ED refers to the inability to have an erection at all, as well as the inability to have satisfactory sexual intercourse due to insufficient erection power, such as lack of hardness, rapid atrophy, and lack of staying power (erectile dysfunction). In the field of treatment, a self-assessment tool is used to check the hardness of an erection, using fruits and konjacs.

The hardness of the konjac is the least hard, followed by the mandarin orange, then the grapefruit, and the apple represents a completely hard erection.

In this case, the hardness of the apple is not a concern, but konjac, mandarin oranges, and grapefruit all have the potential for ED. If you are concerned, check how hard your erection is.”

An erection occurs when sexual arousal sends signals from the brain to the male organ through nerves. The male organ has a tissue called the corpus spongiosum, which is like a bundle of numerous blood vessels, and when it spreads, a large amount of blood flows into the organ. The corpus cavernosum stores blood like a sponge and expands to become hard. This is how an erection works.

There are three types of ED: organic ED, which is caused by problems with blood vessels due to aging or disease; psychogenic ED, which is caused by mental stress; and drug-induced ED, which is caused by the side effects of medication. Of these, wife-only ED falls into the “psychogenic ED” category. Tension or stress causes a failure of neurotransmission from the brain, resulting in inadequate erection even when trying to have sex.

The common denominator is a “serious and gentle personality”…

One of the most common causes of wife-only ED is the pressure caused by pregnancy. Men also want to have children, but when they feel the tension of “making sure to do it” in accordance with the timing of easy conception, for some reason it does not go as usual. …… Many men visit the clinic with the distressing feeling of “I want to somehow help with fertility.”

The mechanism of male erection is surprisingly delicate. Even young men who used to be able to have a firm erection can become ED after a single failure if they feel pressured by pregnancy or other factors, or if they cannot have sex as usual.

In other cases, ED is more likely to occur when sexual arousal is not sufficiently high, such as when a man decides to have sex for the first time in a long time after his wife has given birth and is unable to do so as before, or when he has been married for a long time and his sex life has become a rut and he cannot get an erection even when facing his wife.

What those who are prone to ED with only their wives have in common is a serious and gentle nature. Men who “don’t want to disappoint their wives” and “have to do their best for their wives” are more likely to feel shocked that they have ED, and are more likely to carry the stress alone. The more he thinks about it, the more pressure it puts on him, and the more serious his ED becomes.

Take one pill once before sex… “The cure” revives your sex life with your wife.

How should a man deal with his wife’s ED? Dr. Miyaji recommends, “The best thing to do is to tell your wife that you think your erection may be declining.

Men don’t want to admit to themselves that they have ED, and they probably think to themselves, “I don’t want to tell my wife about it. But if he doesn’t, the next time he has sex with his wife, the result may be the same. If you want to have satisfactory sex between you and your wife, we recommend that you tell her honestly what is going on.

Some couples come to our clinic with both of them; improvement is faster and smoother if you are open about the cause of your ED and get your wife’s cooperation.”

The key to improving ED in wives is how to increase sexual stimulation. For example, dressing up and going out with each other, going to a love hotel, and experiencing a different kind of thrill will increase arousal toward the wife. The first step to improving your relationship is to talk to your wife about it, rather than keeping it to yourself.

However, there must be some men who feel uncomfortable telling their wives. In such cases, there is also the option of relying on ED medications.

ED medicines are taken one pill at a time before sex. People often ask me, “Will taking the pills increase my libido and keep me erect?　This is not the case. ED drugs support the power of erection by stimulating blood flow to the male organ when sexually stimulated.

Currently, there are three types of ED drugs approved by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare: Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, all of which are self-pay.

Viagra, a well-known ED drug, is recommended to be taken on an empty stomach because its duration of action is short (about 4 hours) and it is easily affected by food. Cialis has an effect duration of up to 36 hours, so many people use it on weekends and it supports erectile strength from Friday night until Sunday morning. Levitra is preferred by those who want a harder erection because it is the most erectile enhancing drug.

Most men try two or three ED medications at first, and by the second time, ‘this was good,’ and they narrow it down to one type. ‘ If you can find a treatment that you are comfortable with, that works with your diet and the timing of sex, you will feel so confident in your sexual life with your partner that you will forget you had ED.”

These ED drugs are approved by the government. They are not dependent on the body and do not become ineffective if taken continuously. Muscle training to boost testosterone and aerobic exercise to improve blood flow to the lower body are also effective self-care for improving ED.

ED is not only a concern for the man himself, but also for his partner, his wife. If only the wife’s ED becomes more serious, she may fall into a sexless relationship, making it difficult to revive their life as a couple. To prevent this from happening, it is important to deal with the problem at an early stage.

Takaki Miyaji is the director of the East Ekimae Clinic in Akihabara, which specializes in men’s health and offers three specialized outpatient clinics: ED, AGA, and medical dieting.

Click here for the website of East Ekimae Clinic.