Help with higher education, employment, and transfers… The first week’s moves will determine your relationships! Ideal Move” and “NG Move | FRIDAY DIGITAL

Help with higher education, employment, and transfers… The first week’s moves will determine your relationships! Ideal Move” and “NG Move

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Relationships built from scratch have a crucial start. We want to raise the level of likability with an ideal move, and then easily adjust to the new environment.

The change of fiscal year is approaching. During this time of year, more and more people find themselves in a new environment for a variety of reasons, and the most important thing to keep in mind is the importance of human relationships. If you are able to fit in well with your new community, your new life will be enjoyable and comfortable. On the other hand, if they fail to fit in, they may experience increased stress, or worse, leave. …… According to a survey by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare (MHLW), 8.3% of male workers who changed jobs cited “I didn’t like the human relations in the workplace” as the top reason for quitting their previous job. (Source: “Summary of Results of Survey on Employment Trends in Reiwa 2022,” Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare).

What are the “ideal moves” and “bad moves” for building better human relations? We interviewed Mr. Taku Watanabe, author of “A Workplace Where People Gather, A Workplace Where People Flee” (Crossmedia Publishing) and president of the Life Balance Management Institute, Inc.

The key word is “brazenness without being disliked.

When you enter a new environment, whether it is for higher education, a new job, or a transfer (see ……), the way you behave during the first week is very important. First impressions have a huge impact on building relationships. Your first week could make or break the rest of your life.”

Mr. Watanabe himself has spent his career in large corporations, venture companies, and foreign-affiliated firms. Based on his wealth of on-the-job experience, we asked him to introduce the “5 ideal moves” and the “3 NG moves” for the first week in order to build good human relations in a new place.

The key to the ideal moves is to demonstrate “a brazenness that will not be disliked. There is no need to be aggressive. You don’t have to play the “sunny side” by force. However, if you take an entirely passive stance during the week, you run the risk of giving people the impression that you are someone who is difficult to talk to. To avoid this, please be proactive in practicing “Hou-Ren-Sou (Reporting, Contacting, and Consulting).

In particular, consultation is recommended. Some new hires and mid-career hires are afraid that if they ask questions about things they don’t understand, they will appear as if they are incapable of doing their job, so they refrain from asking for advice. That is a bad idea. A new environment may have its own rules. It is natural for newcomers to ask to be taught how to do things. Be brazen and ask this or that. Rather than being overwhelmed by a person who can’t do something and then goes off on his or her own, a boss or senior staff member who clearly says, “I don’t know,” is much more reassuring.

The next “ideal move” mentioned by Mr. Watanabe is to greet others. It is so basic that I don’t think it needs to be said again. ……

It’s not just saying, ‘Good morning,'” he said. The key is to call out the person’s name. By adding your name to the greeting, such as “Fatty, good morning,” or “△△△, thank you for your help yesterday,” the other person will feel a sense of familiarity with you. You can also kill two birds with one stone by quickly remembering the faces and names of your colleagues.

Ms. Watanabe teaches, trains, and coaches on the prevention of mental health problems, harassment, and communication breakdowns in the workplace

Mr. Watanabe says, “The most important part of relationship-building communication is the chit-chat. Some people think that small talk is wasteful or reduces productivity, but various data have demonstrated that moderate small talk can actually increase productivity in the workplace. Therefore, I recommend that newcomers join in the chit-chat during coffee breaks.

If you are comfortable “disclosing” yourself, the conversation will go more smoothly. In these days of harassment, it is difficult to know what questions to ask newcomers. Therefore, if you share your hobbies, hometown, favorite travel destinations, favorite sports, etc., the conversation will expand from there. You can also show that you are different from the “difficult person” who doesn’t reveal all kinds of personal information.

There are people who can communicate well at work but are not good at small talk. However, even those who recognize that they are shy may find themselves in a new environment and find that they can interact with others with surprising ease,” suggests Mr. Watanabe. Arriving early for the meeting is also an effective move.

Being late is not acceptable, especially during the first week. Being late, especially in the first week, will make a bad impression. For meetings and conferences, try to get to the venue earlier than the meeting time. In fact, young people who are fussy about time performance and cost performance often show up just before the meeting time. In such a situation, try to get to the venue early and offer to help the staff who are preparing for the event. This alone is sure to boost your reputation.

Even if it’s only five minutes before the event, you can get a lot of return by getting there early. This is a much better “time saver. Now, let me introduce the fifth ideal move.

It is an expression of gratitude. “It’s a way of expressing your gratitude,” he says. Express your gratitude by saying things like, “I’m lucky to be in such a good company,” or “I’m relieved that everyone is so nice. Even if some people take it as flattery, it should not be taken as malice. It is easier to integrate into an organization if you show appreciation at first, rather than showing that you can do the job.”

Let’s take a look at some of the moves you should not make in the first week.

Don’t ask “personal questions” of your coworkers or supervisors. I have already recommended that you should not hesitate to ask work-related questions, but asking about privacy can be a form of “brazenness” that will make them dislike you. It is not a good idea to close the distance in the first week.

It is also premature to ask for personal contact information such as LINE numbers! Take your time to build a personal relationship that includes your private life.

It is also not a good idea to talk about your former employer. It is not welcome to talk about how you used to do things at your previous workplace, even if someone asks you about it. To show that you are committed to your current workplace, you should not talk about your former workplace.

Finally, Mr. Watanabe introduced “NG words that should be avoided in any environment.

It’s ‘I can’t do it. Or, to be more precise, “I can’t do it. It does not mean that you should unconditionally answer “I can do it” to your boss’s instructions or requests from your seniors. There may be situations where you have to tell someone that you cannot do something for various reasons, such as your capacity, experience, or skills at the time. In such cases, you should answer with an excuse, such as, “I can do it if I do this.

For example, “It is difficult to do it today, but I can do it until noon tomorrow,” or “I don’t have the experience to do it, but I can do it if you teach me. Be careful not to simply tell them that you can’t do something, as this will give them the strong impression that they have rejected you.”

If you make full use of the ideal moves and avoid the NG moves, you will not give a bad impression – we hope that you will be able to integrate into the community effortlessly and live comfortably in your new environment!

  • Interview and text by Yutaka Sano

    Yutaka Sano is a freelance writer. His main areas of expertise are business and humanities, and he is active in interviewing and writing articles for magazines, the Internet, and other media. He is the author of numerous books.

  • Photo Courtesy of Mr. Watanabe

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