Love but No Physical Relations: Is the Proliferation of “Second Partners” on Married Apps Adultery or Not?
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What is Second Partner?
Matching apps for married couples” have appeared in the last few years. Unlike conventional matching apps, this is a place for married people to get together. The term “second partner” has become popular there.
The definition of a second partner on the app reads, “Someone other than your spouse with whom you have romantic feelings and who is more than a friend and less than a lover, with whom you can have a serious relationship that emphasizes emotional connection.
One can be married and still fall in love with someone.”
These words danced across the application, which recommended second partners. When do men and women who love each other and are married sometimes feel this way? Another comment goes something like this.
It is not a way to encourage infidelity, but a way to facilitate marital life.
Couples who have a second partner have a happy family.”
It seems that having a second partner makes the marital relationship rather good. In other words, the desire for a second partner may be triggered by some feelings toward one’s spouse.
However, when we hear the phrase “something on their mind” in a married couple, we tend to think of sex-related issues. Many Japanese couples are said to be sexless. Many Japanese couples are said to be sexless, and since they take some risks in their relationships despite being married, one would think that there must be a physical relationship involved.
However, the general definition of a “second partner” seems to be that a physical relationship is not essential. I am very curious to know if men in particular are satisfied with this. We asked the opinions of those who actually have or are looking for a “second partner.
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Alafemale men who want to date but their wives do not agree to do so
Mr. A, who is in his 50s and runs a company, has been married for 25 years and has two children. The children are already grown and unattended. He and his wife spend some time together, but she does not see him as a man, and when she has free time, she goes out with her friends of the same sex.
He says, “My relationship with my wife is not bad. We have been partners for many years, and that will never change. I just like to go on dates once in a while in stylish places. I would like to go to a beer garden, a sports game, afternoon tea, or the aquarium, but my wife is not in a position to make such an invitation, as it seems boring for her to go with me. It’s not something that men go out of their way to schedule together, and I also want to be told that I am still attractive as a man…. That’s when I found out about the Married Men Only app and signed up.
I met the person I am now dating there. She is a little younger than me, but like me, she never dated her husband, nor did she actively want to have a physical relationship with him, which would be considered cheating. She just wanted to have casual conversations, be soothed just by being with him, and go home where she belonged, and she seemed content with that.”
It seems that they have been dating for about six months, and when asked if they would not have a physical relationship in the future, Mr. A replied, “Since we are a man and a woman, maybe there will be a future beyond that. But I don’t think I would go out of my way to risk destroying the relationship…” He was somewhat brusque.
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A woman who wants healing on a weekday evening.
Ms. B is a 40-year-old full-time company employee. She enjoys going to a fashionable café in Tokyo after work to read and relax for a while. Her husband is very busy at work and comes home late every day, so they don’t have much time to talk during the week. On weekends, they go out together, but after lunch they go shopping separately.
They are both very easygoing, and they go out together on weekends, but after lunch, they go shopping separately. I want to be stimulated by hearing stories from men of the same gender who have diverse experiences. Ideally, I would like someone who runs a company or works freelance.”
Mr. B has no children and lives with his wife.
She and her husband get along well with each other. But my husband works too hard, and I have to do all the housework. So I wanted a little healing. People often ask me, ‘Why can’t it be someone of the same sex?’ But at my age, most people have children and there is no one I can go out with on weekday evenings. Housewives and office workers don’t always get along. I used to have male friends when I was in school, but they have moved away or moved to new cities, so I don’t have anyone I can meet easily.
What kind of “second partner” does Ms. B want?
I think the best would be a “friend but less than a lover. If someone wants me, I can’t really say, but if it becomes too much like a lover, I’m afraid I won’t be able to maintain a balance with my real life….
He is a little vague. It seems that he has not found a partner yet.
It seems that a “second partner” is someone who makes up for what he lacks in a real partner. However, I got the impression that a “physical relationship” is not a prerequisite for such a relationship, but it is not out of the realm of possibility. So, how are these “second partners” perceived by other app users?
For more details, please refer to Part 2, “Second Partner,” a “pitfall” lurking in the healing process.
