Report on “Real Sexuality” of Middle-Aged and Older Adults, Presented at an Academic Conference and a Hot Topic!

What kind of sex do Japanese middle-aged and older adults have or want? However, the “real sexual situation next door” is considered a private matter and is rarely made public.

In this context, a report presented at the 32nd Annual Meeting of the Japanese Society for Sexual Function Research in mid-September became a topic of conversation among physicians. The title of the report was “Sexual Conditions of Japanese Middle-Aged and Older Adults Living in the 100-Year Life Era.

The report was based on an Internet survey of registered users of a Facebook community that he presides over, and was conducted by Dr. Kiyo Tominaga, director of the Tominaga Pain Clinic in Ehime Prefecture. Tominaga conducted an Internet survey of registered users of the Facebook community he runs. This analysis shows that the data is not only about the realities of middle-aged and older adults but also about the realities of the Japanese middle-aged and older adults. This analysis revealed the real sexual situation of middle-aged and older adults. There are approximately 13,000 registered Japanese men and women in their 30s to 80s, with another 10,000 on the waiting list for approval.

It is one of the largest community sites run by doctors, and a rare place for serious discussions about sex,” said Tominaga.

The following six questions were answered and analyzed in this report.

Q1 At what age did you have the best sex of your life?

Q2 When do you have sex?

Q3 Do you feel pain during sex?

Q4 What is your least favorite sex position?

Q5 What sex problems do you worry about?

Q6 Did you know about adult sexual pain and vaginal atrophy?

FRIDAY focused on Q2, the time of day when they have sex.

The most common time was 10pm-24am, but many people started early in the morning, from 4-6am and 6-9am, and a quarter of all respondents had sex in the morning. If we add the second most common times, from after lunch to late afternoon, nearly half of the respondents had sex during the daytime when the sun was high in the sky.

I’m taking advantage of the morning erection,” said one woman, “because people always say, ‘Sex is for the night. I think it’s an interesting result that goes against the conventional wisdom that sex is something you do at night.

How did they come to this conclusion?

The secretion of testosterone, a male hormone related to sexual desire and motivation, is higher in the morning. In addition, the COVID-19 crisis may be having an effect. The time at home has increased, and it is thought that the number of “opportunities” has increased, such as while the children are at school. I think, calmly, that if I eat lunch, have sex, take a bath in the light of day, and eat dinner, my day is so much easier.”

Another eye-opener was that the answer to “When was the best sex of your life (Q1)” was not in your youth.

When I had sex with a 65-year-old lady in my 60s, it was a slow but skilled exchange of pleasure points that brought me to a climax I had never experienced before. It was a ″two rounds″ and we both went limp.”

Why does he feel that “now,” when his physical strength has declined, is the climax of his life? Mr. Tominaga continues.

One reason is that many middle-aged and older people in Reiwa are energetic, but another reason is that their sex skills are improving as they get older. Some middle-aged and older people lose erectile strength and cannot get a good erection, but an increasing number of them are having outer sex that does not involve penetration, taking time for foreplay, sometimes using a vibrator, and having both “come inside” and “come on the brain,” which satisfies them mentally.

As for Q4, “Sex positions that I am not good at,” acrobatic and standing positions that put a lot of strain on the legs and back came out on top.

I had thought that people preferred unusual positions due to the influence of adult videos, but middle-aged and older adults are stiff, so M-joints are painful, and standing positions are dangerous because the legs and back are weak, and they wobble. For this reason, normal and doggy positions are preferred.

Q5 is a question for men. The most common concerns were erectile dysfunction (ED) and erectile dysfunction, while the third most common concern, lack of sex, and the fourth most common concern, finding a partner, are symbolic of the current era.

Many are having trouble finding a partner because they can’t use social networking sites properly. Many people have trouble finding partners.”

Q6 is a question about pain, which turns what should be a pleasurable sex into a painful experience. Vaginal atrophy, narrowing, and insertion pain can occur if women do not have sex, but only 18% of men and 31% of women answered that they knew about these problems.

I have opened an outpatient clinic for painful intercourse. I have an outpatient clinic for intercourse pain, and I have seen a great increase in the number of women who come to see me in a hurry, saying, ‘I’ve finished raising my children, so I tried to have sex for a long time, but it was too painful to go in. Many men and women think they can have sex anytime they want, just like riding a bicycle, but I would like them to know more that ‘if you don’t do it, you won’t be able to do it.'”

In response to Q3, “Do you feel pain during sex?” it should not be overlooked that a majority of men (20%) and women (61.5%) have intercourse pain.

The reason why men feel pain is that the skin and mucous membrane of the penis become thinner with age. This is especially noticeable when diabetes is present. Piston movement is painful because it rubs against the penis as it did when he was younger. Pain care is essential for fulfilling sex.

The age of sex has been extended to reflect the 100-year age of life, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity and effort to fully enjoy it. In Tominaga’s community, there is currently a great deal of talk about “devising ways to have sex in the fall and winter” (see table).

He says, “Lubricating lotion is essential for middle-aged and older people to have sex, but when I looked at the responses, I found that in the fall and winter, I float the whole container in the bath to warm it up so she doesn’t get chafed. Many couples make good use of love hotels because of their well-controlled room temperatures and baths.”

Derived from Q4 above, “What kind of intercourse did you prefer when you were young, and what kind of intercourse do you prefer now that you are middle-aged? The physical conditions of middle-aged and older adults are also reflected in the answers to the question “What kind of sexual intercourse did you prefer when you were younger?

The respondents answered, “As my hip and knee joints deteriorate, I have less standing as well as bending positions. As in the responses to the question, “Face-to-face standing, standing backward, multiple players → normal, side, and crossed positions,” those who preferred extreme positions when they were younger also prefer sex that is not physically demanding. However, their skills have improved and they enjoy more ways to have sex other than penetration, so we also saw responses like ‘normal, face-to-face standing, standing rear-dorsal, doggy position → normal, cowgirl position, side position, lying back, crossed positions, and others.'”

The exchanges were all frank and considerate of others. In a thread asking about the “purpose of sex,” some responded, “For my wife, to try again,” while others said, “Desire for conquest.”

One person responded, “I want to try again for my wife,” while another said, “I want to conquer her. (laughs).”

Mr. Tominaga also surveyed data on the Japanese eight years after the war and made a comparison (see Q7 graph).

Japanese people are considered herbivorous and do not have much sex, but according to data from 1953, when our parents’ generation was surveyed, more than 30% of newlywed couples had sex “more than half a week” or “almost every day,” respectively. More than 30% of newlyweds and married couples in each of the two generations said they ate meat at least half of the week or almost every day.

Seventy years ago, the Japanese were carnivorous. Given this, it is no wonder that many people are “enjoying the best sex of their lives now in their 60s. I am sure that there are many people who are suffering or holding back because they do not know this fact. Mr. Tominaga concludes.

For example, if a woman consults a gynecologist or urologist about painful intercourse, she may be told, “It’s just your age,” or “Do you still want to have sex? This is a mistake on the part of the doctor. I would like to continue to manage the community and disseminate information to correct this situation so that everyone can enjoy a healthy sex life even in their middle age and older.

From the November 11, 2022 issue of FRIDAY